All Consuming
What we focus on the most becomes our lives. I have noticed that people talk about what consumes them. School consumes me. It’s all I talk or think about. I talk about my classes. I talk about grades. I post things on facebook about 3d brains and the vocal tract and neuroanatomy. I talk about grad school. I talk about the different programs I can go to. It’s all consuming.
Today I spent my time doing math. Yesterday, I wrote my notes for my class on neurogenic speech disorders. I sat there writing away. I wondered when exactly it was that these things became more important to me than anything else. When did they become all of my focus? The desire to succeed at this takes over me. This is what I want. I want it more than I want air. It’s like nothing I have ever felt before. The more I know about my future possession the more my soul aches for it. It’s the strangest thing ever.
I no longer have the guilt of not being with my kids or husband every minute of every day. I enjoy my own existence. I enjoy the freedom that comes with it. It is all consuming knowing where you fit in the world. It only took me 30 years to figure it out but when I did…
……..everything changed.
Hmmmmm…How in common we are my beautiful daughter! I felt the same way when I started college for nursing. When we define ourselves first by our parents perception and go on to define our SELVES by our husbands and our children we do not see that these are not WHO we are. As we open our world to learn about our SELVES and begin defining OUR SELVES by those things in life that are important to US alone we never go back to being just a daughter,just a wife or just a mom. We become a “whole” person, mind ,body and soul. We are then fulfilled.
| Posted 2 years ago